fuckT striyansaathi..!

Stampede Déjà Vu

to hang or not to hang

a question i ask my humble self

as a gorilla army of Mrs Godbole(s) push against me

i ripple amidst the drang

..determined not to lemme grab that fourth seat

all sakkubais shove in, in 5 seconds flat

with a silent, fleshly, "me aadhi jhaate!"

add babies screamin, chappals left behind..n all that

hey, i haven't lost courage,

i'll make it inside this one..i can bet!

so i push n i push! ..not really, i'm being pushed.

n sturdy myself on the entrance. n thats just yet.

suffering on the platform wasn't hell enough

perdition personified is the damn women's dabba

oil slicks , gajras, snot & lice n stinky armpits,

eunuchs cussing n auntyji spraying muck with her cough

..hai mere rabba!

murder, suicide, my bag...OUCH!

all these thoughts breeze in together

and while i'm holding on to these and my life

SLAMM! (..even the lady stuck to my butt heard this)

a rugrat jus bulldozed into my ascending colon

givin me a belly acher

trying to save my tears,

never thought, the toothless fairy in front

was about to redefine a foot smash

holy mother of gawwd..trying to say something mean

but a nasty stare is all with i could backlash

just a few minutes more, n i'll be outta misery,

i force the lord to gimme some strength

coz i can see blood in the eyes of sakku to kiss the platform
not today, i don't wanna die a chicken's death

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glossary:

• fuckt striyansaathi-> only for women
• me aadhi jhaate->i'll go first
• dabba->box (here, means compartment)

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It's gonna be 3 years now.. Local trains zindabaad :-/
Around 5 million people travel by central line every day and the western line hogs approximately half of that. As anonymous often quote, "No matter when u travel in locals, it seems these millions of people want to catch the same train U want to." By the way, the rhymey above is my ode to the western locals, I’d like to take a bow for them .. leaving barely an inch to stand, these striyansaathi dabba-walis manage to reach home with a handful cat fights.
I thank goodness that i'm a little less unfortunate as I travel by the harbour line, which hasn't become as unbearable as the western yet...but, it'll soon be the number one crappy local line if people don't stop spitting, disposing peanuts/fruits/polythene peels n scraps inside n outside the trains. About the crowded part, I say cushioning is welcome :-p

What really inspired me for this write up was the adventurous junta of bumbai, which displays acts of courage with their multifarious methods of travelling ON a local train. I witnessed one of such events a few days back, the guy was travelling on the window of women's dabba (pic above). Although the fungus on his dirty dry toes was right on my face...well, almost.. I thought it was worth a shot. I can only imagine the adrenaline rush he must be going through.

[I did something crazy too today. me n su. On our way back from the play at horniman circle garden, went to catch a glimpse of Indian Ocean..Alas, they had rescheduled n we missed em. But heard a bit of Rabbi instead. Got bored n came out of azad maidan n heard the keeda inside knocking. This keeda has been there for sometime now. Ever since i watched thelma and louise i guess :-p Wondering what did we do? ..nuthin much, just sat on the main road divider listening to music with heavy traffic passing us on both sides. Like i said nuthin much..good stuff is yet to come ;-)]

I digressed from what i was talking about. The local train fiesta. The adventure part innit.
My everyday need of adventure, book reading time, lost sleep, music..with my late mp3 (snifff!) and even food sometimes is fulfilled in the harbour line trains i travel in.
I enjoy standing on the foot stand when the trains are almost empty, for some fresh air of course. Also, I’ve started enjoying the rare cat fights. Talking about adventure, I would not recommend getting on or off a moving train, but often the need for such tactics arises when u'r in B amess. Doesn’t sound relevant? ..Heck, I just felt like crediting my misadventures on B amess (I love that name!)
Moreover, alighting a moving train is nothing when compared to the spine chilling tactics u see other people performing everyday for their appetite of adventure.
Also, I’ve read those books during my travel time which i would consider a waste of precious time. U guessed it right, i'm talking about kotler, rupali's notes n similar shit. (when u can accomplish so much otherwise in reading douglas adams). And often had the best naps ever.

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Eunuchs patting your head for a sec of blessings to get money in return. The amalgamated smell of gajra and some weird hair oil. Well dressed women reluctant sitting next to a fisherwoman. The sounds of harmonium and the child artists singing dil ne ye kaha hai humse..mohobbat ho gayi hai tumse. Woman sitting next to me digging into her purse (and the side of me with her elbow, which is still annoying) looking her loud cell phone. The lady TC who checks you only the day you’ve forgotten your pass at home. Women who notice you noticing them picking their nose and then smile.

I have learnt to enjoy myself in these years of train travel. It is not that bad as it seemed earlier.