A letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Anari's Christmas party. It was gill who spiked the punch with too much long island ice tea. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like tangy.

I thought it was funny when I put Anks's shorts on my head and danced the tango on the bench while singing `starry starry night'. I didn't mean to break Anari's blender and don't know why Anari would sue me for murder.

I don't remember calling Sujay's wife a fun pig---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and black lipstick!

And when I threw up on Gauri's husband's hand, it was only because I ate too much of that pie.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wild horse and have me arrested for rape!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all vivacious and wicked. And I'm really not to blame for any of this violent stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and why yours,
Punk (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 9 bucks!